Reasons Why I Would Be An AWESOME Girlfriend!

I read a lot and talk to lots of different people. For some reason, the subject of relationships comes up a lot. Some of my female friends have their thoughts and believe everything that Cosmo tells them. Considering that you're trying to date a guy, that's a HUGE no-no since just about everything in that magazine aside from the "Ask Jake" column is written by females (read: not guys). Women don't even know what we want, much less what someone else wants! Based on my reading of many articles directed towards men and my loads of conversations with guys, I started thinking about some of those stupid checklists with a somewhat realistic view. Below are the reasons why I (not Cosmo or any other girly magazine) believe I would be a legit girlfriend.

1. I understand that guys are visual creatures.

I don't get offended when guys check me out or stand close enough to attempt to look down my shirt. In fact, i'm flattered by it. I check out guys doing squats at the gym so its kinda fair. Guys seem to like girls in many different states from just waking up (minus the morning breath) to dressed up for a night out (as long we're still recognizable under the hair, makeup & push up bra). If I know that a guy i'm interested in likes when I wear something in particular like wearing a dress instead of jeans or wearing my hair down instead of in a ponytail, I pay attention to that and dress accordingly. Not that i'm a Barbie doll that wears whatever he wants to see whenever he wants to see it but I don't mind being considerate.

2. I love trying out new recipes and even creating new ones.

Remember that saying "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach"? I think someone was onto something magical when that gem tumbled across the lips of some genius. I like to eat so I don't mind cooking. On top of that, I don't count calories or track grams of sugar or trans fats or any other flavor of the month from dieters of the world.  (Ok, I kinda pay attention to Sodium and Caffeine but i'm not obnoxiously strict about it.) With that said, we can eat whatever without guilt. However it goes down, nobody is gonna be hungry.

3. I don't know a logical reason for asking "What are you thinking?"

Sometimes people do dumb stuff and I wonder "What the hell was he thinking?" but i'm not one to break away from a really good kiss and ask about what is on my makeout partner's mind. People are allowed to have private thoughts, I don't always want someone knowing anything and everything i'm thinking. If you want me to know, you'll tell me. If not, i'll survive.

4. With that said, i'm always willing to listen.

I understand that when guys hear a rant, they go into problem solving mode. Sometimes, folks just want to get things off their chest. Some folks want to be commiserated with or offered advice. Before jumping off the deep end, I tend to ask "Are you just venting or would you like feedback?" That way, if you don't want to hear what I have to say, I can save my breath and you don't have to worry about a polite way to say "Shut up woman, no one cares." Everybody wins!

5. I don't think couples need to spend every waking hour together.

You had a life, interests, friends, hobbies, habits, activities, rituals, etc. before you met me? Funny, I can say the same. When I say that i'm totally cool with you hanging out with the guys, I absolutely mean it. (Yes, even if you guys are going to a strip club for a bachelor party. Just don't touch.) We are each our own person and should do what it takes to maintain our personal identities. If we're never apart, we'll run out of stuff to talk about and/or become one of those couples that shares a Facebook account. (Those bother me so so much!) Besides, I want to go out with my friends too.

6. Whatever you tell me goes no further.

If you tell me about your hopes, dreams, goals, insecurities, fears, childhood traumas or any personal make or break moments in your life, know that i'm not going to tell anyone. Some people think its okay to tell their best friend, mom, therapist, etc. but i'm not one of those people. For some things, I don't even have to hear "Don't tell anyone" or "Keep this to yourself". I can tell by the tone of your voice, the speed of your speech, and the look in your eyes. If you trust me enough to share those things with me, I will continuously do my best to maintain that trust and keep your secrets, even if things turn sour. When it comes to loyalty and trust, I don't play.

7. I can admit when you are right and I am wrong.

Its not a contest and i'm not keeping score. If you're correct, I can respect your intelligence. If you're wrong, i'll only gloat a little bit.

8. I like to help and take care of people. 

Don't get me wrong, I could get a puppy or have a baby if I wanted to take care of a helpless creature. I'm definitely not down for that just yet. There is a difference between doing something for someone because I have to and doing something for someone because I want to. If I want to cook dinner for you or give you a massage simply because I want to show appreciation and/or affection, don't look for the ulterior motive. Sometimes, I just want to be nice. 

9. I like sports too.

I may not know the difference between a Blitz and a Red Tail (or was it Red Fin? Don't know, don't care.) but I know enough about some sports to watch a game and understand what's happening in front of me. My favorite sport to watch (and play, when permitted) is Football. I like to watch and focus on my games. I may text you back, especially if you're bringing game necessities like pizza, hot wings or frosty beverages. If you call me and I sound distracted or worse, call you "dude", you should know that i'm in the zone. I'll be back to normal when that oh so important F is behind the score. Because I get this way, I understand why guys get so wrapped up in their sports and would extend the same courtesy and respect as i'd expect to receive. For me, this also goes for Grey's Anatomy.

10. I don't want to change anyone.

It's hard enough to change myself, so why would I even consider trying to change anyone else? If i'm with you, its because I like who you are. Besides, its rude and unfair to you. If our interactions change your opinion of certain things, that's just a perception change. If I don't like your personality or habits or whatever, I should probably just find a new person to date. 

I'm sure there may be other reasons why I may be a legit girlfriend but this is all I can come up for now. Maybe i'll find out or realize more reasons someday but for now, i'm content with the fact that someone out there can and does appreciate me and my somewhat logical anti-girlness.

I've been busy!

I know it's been about a month and a half since i've posted anything but i've been busy. Besides, I only want to post things i'm inspired to write about. With that said, i'll be posting again soon... I hope.

Let's Be Real #9

I encounter quite a bit of people who feel the need to ask me how tall I am. (For the record, I am 5'11.5")  I'm quite proud of my height, I absolutely love it. But somewhere in the conversation discussing my height, someone always has to ruin it by inquiring or demanding to know if I did/do play basketball. Constantly being asked "Do you play basketball?" or hearing "You MUST play basketball!" simply because of my height. I understand that height is a key advantage when playing the sport but is that the best thing you could come up with? When I encounter short people, the first thing out of my mouth is not "Are you a jockey? You must be a jockey, you're sooooo short!"

Let's be real here, it's very closed minded, annoying, and highly offensive to assume such things based on a person's height. There are lots of things tall people can do other than play basketball and reach things on the top shelf. Some of us can read books, bake cookies, ride bikes, color with little kids, try new restaurants, go to concerts or even write a blog (like this one). Basically, tall people can do the same things as short people but we can see over your head while we do it. So before you insist that someone must be something your peon brain has stereotyped them to be, think about how you might feel if someone looked you up and down and insisted that you are indeed a donut taste tester or something of the like based on your appearance.

By the way; if tall people can't wear heels, short people can't wear flats. Just sayin.

What am I doing here?

Recently, i've been evaluating my life and wondering what exactly am I doing with myself. I'm 26, i've been out of high school for nine years, and I have three college degrees. For some reason (partly the economy that everyone seems to blame everything on), I work in a retail establishment not enjoying my job or any time spent doing any job related thinking. When I think about that, I ask myself "What am I doing here?"

I've always known that I want to work in some professional capacity with an office but I just can't seem to narrow down exactly what I want to do. I find myself wondering if I should take a job that I never really saw myself doing and hope for the best or if I should stick it out and hope that I do encounter my dream job. Considering the current job market and the fact I would like to move out of my parent's house (again), i'm thinking I may have to go for the less-than-perfect-for-me kind of job.

On the contrary to that thought process, I sometimes wonder if i'm just supposed to be in the trenches right now, making connections and relationships to eventually start my own business(es). Maybe i'm supposed to remain somewhat available so that when the perfect opportunity comes floating by, I can jump on it without a second thought. Good things come to those who wait but better things come to those who hustle. I like good things and I don't like relying on other people for anything so maybe I will have to swallow my pride and become a big girl. Now, where the hell do I start?

Let's Be Real #8

I recently went to my cousin's wedding and even after taking off my 5.5 inch Steve Madden heels, I was still taller than most of the crowd. That height was to my advantage when it came time for the bouquet toss. In all my years of being a "single lady" and joining in such an age old tradition (well, i'm not sure how old this tradition is but you get the point), there has only been one time that I attempted to catch the bouquet and was unsuccessful. I don't mean i've been on a roll for three weddings in a row, I mean this streak is at least ten years old. With that said, i'm still single. (Well, i'm not LEGALLY hitched.) Anyway, let's be real; catching the bouquet does NOT bestow some kind of magical spell that causes the catcher to be the next to get married. If it actually does, I think i've snagged some defective yet beautiful bouquets.

Oh Facebook, you annoy me so!

So, some folks have noticed and others haven't. Honestly, I really don't care which group you may fall into. I have taken a hiatus from Facebook. I haven't been on since June 23rd and it's nice. Sometimes looking at my news feed sincerely bothers me. Seeing posts about hating a job, hating your ex, having haters (some of yall need to learn the difference between haters and people who simply state the obvious), excessive posters, people with bad attitudes and bad grammar/spelling or anything else that may find its way from the peon brain of a Facebook friend of mine to the News Feed is absolutely ridiculous. I get that we all have the right to post what we want and speak our minds. I also get the point that many people make by saying "If you don't like what I have to say, don't read it." Unfortunately, I wont know that I don't like it until after I read it but going along with that point, i'm now choosing not to read it. At least for a brief while. I took a similar hiatus in October and it was so nice. I still wondered how my friends were doing but I simply called or texted those people to see about them. Wild concept, eh?

The reason I did this is because there is already so much negativity in the world and in our own lives, I don't need to borrow the drama from anyone else's life. I know some people will say "That's your fault for letting others manipulate your emotions" and if that's how you feel, fine. This isn't about you, it's about me doing what is right for me. Because I do care about a portion of the people on my friends list, when something bothers them, I hope and pray for a positive resolution for them. Sometimes, it's simply too much. For those that I don't care about as much, it's simply whining and bellyaching being pumped into my personal space. I don't deal with whiners. I even tell my cousin's two year old that I don't put up with whining. She gets it and will stop whining and use her words.

With that said, if you've tried to contact me on Facebook sometime in the last eight or nine days, i'm not ignoring you, just the medium you chose to contact me through. If you really want or need to talk to me, my email, Skype, Twitter, and phone (as The Boy says "Talk on the phone? Do people still do that anymore?!?") are indeed working and you can try one of those. Not sure how long this hiatus will be and it's not really important. I do know that I have been more productive, harbor less bitterness towards the News Feed Evildoers, and feel so much better about myself since i've started ignoring the FB Notifications on my phone and avoiding the favorited website with that little blue icon. It's such a much needed relief and i'm going to enjoy it until I feel the desire to go back to my old technological timekiller. Until then, i'm enjoying the peace.

Let's Be Real #7

Looking at my news feed, i've seen some pretty ridiculous stuff. When I say ridiculous, i'm not talking about my dumb friends that post pictures of their cat in a costume (although, that is pretty ridiculous). The one that is bothering me the most right now is the folks that post something EVERY SINGLE TIME they sweat. Going to the gym. Taking a kickboxing class. Taking a picture in workout attire. Whatever. I think it's fantastic that people are actually working out and getting/staying healthy, I really do. It doesn't bother me when someone posts something like "Trying Pilates for the first time" or "Didn't realize how intense Zumba really is, glad I survived my first class!" or even "Just maxed out on the bench press, set a new PR today" because those are mini-milestones. I don't even mind hearing about what new workout supplement you tried. What does annoy me is the people that think that every form of physical activity is noteworthy and post it on Facebook. Do I comment on such posts telling people that their posts are redundant and insignificant to my life? No, that's rude and people have the right to post what they want. In my mind, it equates to this; I brush my teeth everyday but I don't make a new status or tweet about it because taking care of myself is just expected. You want a pat on the back for doing something the rest of us  (that care about our health and appearance) do anyway? Nope. I'm not gonna offer you a cookie either. Let's be real; no one cares that you went to the gym today. You're filling my news feed with foolishness and that space could be used for a hilarious new NBA Meme or a post from Inside The Mind of a Ghetto Genius  (which is pretty much my favorite blog ever). Besides, you might drop your phone while you're on the treadmill posting about your epic workout that no one cares about. Just sayin.

Let's Be Real #6

I'm all for encouraging kids and helping them grow up in a positive manner but let's be real, there really is no point in pumping up a kid for their preschool or kindergarten graduation. It's not like they had a choice of major or whether to drop out or not. They don't pull all nighters to study or work on their thesis papers. If we're gonna celebrate them, let's make it for something real rather than conditioning kids to expect Pomp and Circumstance every time they pick their nose and don't wipe it on their shirt.

Don't be mean on Memorial Day

Yay! It's Memorial Day! For lots of people in America, that simply means a day off from work, closed banks and time to barbecue & drink. For others, it's a time to reflect on the many men and women of the Armed Forces and any other service branch such as Police, Firefighters, etc. who have made the choice (and sometimes the ultimate sacrifice) to defend our great nation. Which ever thought process mimics your own, enjoy it however you feel necessary (as long as it doesn't endanger anyone else or infringe on other folks happiness). This brings me to the point of annoyance that led me to my computer to discuss such a holiday; people are allowed to have their own thoughts and feelings therefore, they are allowed to express themselves in many different ways.

Some people choose to express themselves by retweeting or posting a simple Facebook status saying "Happy Memorial Day! Thank you to all the men and women who serve our great country!" Others may choose to volunteer at the local Vet Center, commit to helping with a program like The Wounded Warrior Project or even visit veterans in a hospital or convalescent home. None of these choices are wrong, they are personal preference. With that said, why are so many people condemning others for posting well wishes on a social media site or saying that whatever offers or tokens of appreciation are not enough? Some people don't even acknowledge the day, why aren't you angry with them? Think about that. It's not required for anyone to acknowledge our country's service men and women (that's a whole different topic for another day) so why not consider any acknowledgement as icing on the cake? How many times have you ignored the little birthday indicator on Facebook? Yeah, uh-huh. Sucker.

I'm not saying, err, typing any of this to ruffle any feathers (because honestly, I don't really care if you get upset. No one is forcing you to read my blog.) I say this because it seems like its far too easy to find something to nitpick and tear others down when the action was well-intentioned. Some people are offering a genuinely nice gesture and are getting ripped apart for it. To me, that's not cool. If you're one of the people doing such a thing, take a moment and evaluate why the idea of a gratitude offering makes you fly off the handle and become unnecessarily rude to someone who is attempting to be emotionally supportive in their own way. Not everyone is going to swing a hammer with Habitat For Humanity to build a home for veteran. Not everyone feels comfortable sitting in a hospital and talking with a stranger about his or her war experiences. Not everyone has the same comfort levels and expectations as YOU might have so don't judge them based on what YOU might do. Go thank a serviceman/woman. Offer them a beer, a rib, a Slurpee, a cupcake, a helping hand at the market, a warm smile, a kind gesture or maybe a cookie. In turn, be kind to those who recognize the struggle/sacrifice and DON'T BE RUDE! So, if someone says Happy Memorial Day, just smile and say thank you. It's the polite thing to do and it takes less time and energy that chewing folks out with a bitter, political rant. Now go, your barbecue is getting cold.

EDIT: For the record, I know that that Memorial Day is to remember those that served and died. But honestly, they can't hear you. The living veterans that fought and served with those we remember can hear you and appreciate your gratitude for their partners.

What did you just call me?

Some people use terms of endearment to express well, their endearment, which leads me to wonder who decides how dear one person is to another? I have friends who call just about everyone they have ever met some pet name or form of nickname. (Hello muffin, anyone?) I have some friends who don't call anyone any kind of pet name ever. I get that it has to do with personalities, types of relationship (personal, professional, family, etc) and how comfortable the people may be with one another.

Call me strange but i'm kinda picky about who can call me something aside from my commonly used name and what they may actually call me. For example, one pet name that stands out in my mind is Baby Girl. There are four people on this Earth that can call me that name without immediately putting me into a fighting stance. If you're unsure if you're one of the four, you probably are not. Other than my mother, my neighbor/second mom Robin, my aunt Cecile and my Parallel, any other person calling me that will definitely get a death glare at the very least.

There is another term that some people use as a title of status (usually self-imposed) while others use it as a somewhat derogatory description or even an insult. For a while, lots of females, young and old, were wearing bedazzled and glittery t-shirts with this one word as if it was necessary to follow the trend while trying to declare one's status. There are keychains, license plate frames, car decals and bumper stickers emblazoned with this one simple collections of letters. What is this detested word that I have hyped up so much in the last few sentences? Well, since you asked, I shall share it with you. Are you ready? Here it goes. The word is PRINCESS.

Ugggghhh, just typing that made me gag a little bit. I've heard a lot of people refer to their daughters, granddaughters, nieces, neighbors, etc as princesses and sometimes I think that may build up a person's mindset to the point that they evolve into a diva and continue to be described as a princess with a negative connotation. When motherly figures refer to a girl as a princess, it usually means that said girl is absolutely amazing in her eyes and deserve any and every good thing that life may bring because she is somehow elevated above the rest. In my experience, when just about any other person describes a girl as a princess, it means that heffa is a snobby, elitist twatwaffle that many people find annoying because her "I'm better than you just because my daddy says so" attitude has less standing than a peg leg pirate in a termite infestation. I was called princess this morning by one of my mom's friends and i'm sure she meant it in a positive light (at least I hope she did) but I just can't stand being called princess.

Considering that I like to be thorough, I should mention that it's also quite awkward when people call me any kind of term that I might use when talking to my boo thang and said person is in fact NOT my boo thang. An example of this would be calling me sweetie, honey, baby, sweetheart, cutie, etc and you don't know my full name, what color my car is or most importantly, if I want you to call me such things (especially if it is accompanied by a creepy leer like the ones Steven Tyler dishes out to the underaged female contestants on American Idol) . In short, pet names are cool if you're close enough to a certain person. I personally don't mind them if we're close enough and you use the right ones. Just know that if you call me princess, there is gonna be a misunderstanding.

Well, that was interesting

So, I just had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine. This friend just narrowly escaped falling into the "Missed Connections" post from a few weeks ago. Anyway, I digress. This conversation had to do with our compatibility and bad timing. We had our moment but since he was leaving town for a few months and I was moving out of state, nothing came from it. (I have my reasons for believing that it wouldn't have worked but that is a completely different topic.) Tonight, about a year from our moment, the subject came up again. This conversation was much shorter and directly to the point than it normally would have been and I just realized why; i'm in a relationship. 


I'm usually the ultimate single friend. Before this one, my last relationship was in the beginning of 2008. In case you've been writing the wrong year on your checks all this time (Kidding, who writes checks?), you should know it is currently 2012. If I were single and available, I would have pursued the conversation a bit more. Since that is not the case, the "almost doesn't count" hoopla just didn't matter to me. I was hit by the realization/reminder of just how much I really do care about The Boy. In that instance of reminiscing about something that happened a year ago, I thought of his feelings. I thought of how much things have changed in that time. Not really sure what has happened to me but now I constantly think of the thoughts and feelings of this other person. When did I become the mushy girl with the stupid grin on my face when I get a text from him or encounter something that reminds me of him? I don't get it . Darn it, i'm sprung, huh? 

For The Record

Yes, there was a post where I spilled my guts.
Yes, some people got to read it.
Yes, I removed it for my own reasons. It's my blog and I can do that.
Yes, The Boy and I got past our moment of temporary insanity.
Yes, I do like making lists. ;)

Let's Be Real #5

Let's be real; quotes, songs, and music videos tend to make far too much sense once you feel the same way as the writer or lead singer.

Missed Connections

I'm aware that this post will probably sound like i'm bragging about myself or being kinda cocky, when in fact that is so not my style. If you get sick of reading it, you can just not read it anymore. Isn't free will grand?


So, i've recently had a few conversations with some of my male friends that revealed that they previously (or currently) liked me as more than a friend. So far in this calendar year, i've had 3-4 of these missed connection conversations. I do enjoy the occasional, random, in-depth text conversation and oddly enough, that is how these conversations usually begin. I guess I can understand the comforting security of revealing such information via text. I tend to wonder (and sometimes I even ask) "Why me?" or more importantly "Why are you telling me now?" For some reason, these conversations always seem to happen at times when nothing can be done (read: one or both parties are in a relationship, someone is moving away, etc).  Let me clarify that i've never been upset with anyone for sharing their feelings with me, I absolutely welcome it. It helps me to understand the individual and let's be honest, it's just downright flattering. 


Being told that I was the object of someone else's affection was kinda exciting. Along with that, it can also be somewhat disappointing. Whenever i'm told such an exciting gem, I usually ask "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" (I know, I ask a lot of questions. If you don't ask, you wont know.) The most common answer i've heard: "I didn't think i'd have a chance with you."


At first, I was flattered. Then I was confused. After that, curious. More emotions followed but most recently, i've stayed between a combination of confusion and curiosity. I've been told that i'm intimidating and I guess I can understand that to an extent. That said, i'm just going to be me and everyone else will have to figure out a way to manage. For the most part, no one could or would tell me what the huge deterrent was...until today. In the interest of maintaining confidence, i'm keeping this one to myself. That and I don't think everyone else knows me well enough to have the same road block so I kinda wanna know what everyone else's deal is.


The weirdest part of this whole thing about these guys thinking they didn't have a shot with me is that i'd say about 95% of them were wrong. They didn't know because they didn't ask. Thinking about this makes me wonder how many people are missing out on so many things in life simply because they don't think they have a shot. You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take so live it up.

Let's Be Real #4

When someone is showing themselves to be petty, annoying, and/or nagging, let the person be that way all by their lonesome. Let's be real; rationalizing, arguing with, explaining, or any other form of trying to convince the other side to understand your own viewpoint, is ridiculous. Let exasperatingly dumb people stay the way they were found.

Let's Be Real #3

Everyone is entitled to an opinion. No one else has to acknowledge, agree with or even know what your opinion is for you to simply have one. With that said (and yes, this is my opinion), it's very rude for people to be upset at others for choosing to express any kind of statement about any issue under the sun and have some other peon respond to it "Why are you worrying about that when you could be worried about this?" One of my Facebook friends actually posted this:


 "Instead of bothering with Kony, how about some of you would-be activists start taking up the cause of the Israelis?" 


Everyone needs something to focus on or hold on to, whether you agree with/believe in it or not. I'm not knocking nor am I supporting either causes mentioned but this kind of statement bothers me so very much because implies that one must choose a priority for the concerns of world issues and drama. 


Let's be real; if you don't respect my interest or concern for something, what makes you think I should abandon the thoughts and feelings my opinions have allowed me to create and suddenly jump on your bandwagon? It doesn't work that way homeslice. Respect is not given, it is earned. Making such insensitive and condescending statements like that are utterly appalling and make me wonder how people who say things of that sort still have friends.

The Harm of The Helicopter Parent

Greetings all! I'm doing something new as the post below is actually a Facebook status written by a good friend, mentor and all around classy lady; Ms. Cheryl Osborne Hansberger. She is a very wise woman who exudes kindness as well as an awesome sense of humor. Read and learn friends. 


- my dear friends who are mothers out there... 

I know you love your kids and want the best for them. I know you want them to transition into responsible, self sustaining adults. I know it's frustrating when they are under-motivated or don't share your urgency about this transition. Please do not EVER apply for a job on their behalf! What message do you think this sends to potential employers about your kids level of initiative and responsibility? And also, can you please teach them to follow simply instructions?

And for those of you who ignore this sounds advice, please be ready to stand outside the doors of our company, every single hour they are scheduled for a shift, and wipe their rears when they need to go, too.

Seriously?

Think before you speak

If you say words things like "that's ghetto" or "that's gay" when you dislike something, i'm judging you. I'm not a hoodrat nor am I rainbow ranger but hearing such terms jars me out of my happy place/train of thought/daydreaming. Not only is it kinda disturbing to hear things like that but it widely broadcasts your lack of creativity while offending people who may or may not have done anything to you. Maybe folks should look up some of the words that are part of their ill-comprised daily vernacular.

Also, if you say "supposably" or "I could care less", I automatically assume that you are indeed an idiot. The correct word is supposedly. Don't believe me? Look it up. As for your level of caring, let's straighten this one out real quick. If you say "I could care less" that implies that you care more than someone else and could actually minimize your level of caring. I believe the term you're aiming for is "I couldn't care less" meaning that you just don't care at all. Pay attention to grammar, contractions and lots of other things that grammar nazis chew you out for when you post a poorly thought out statement. BTW, can we get rid of the term "grammar nazi"? They're pointing out the fact that you're breaking basic laws that we all should have learned in elementary (or at the very latest, middle) school. Maybe Intelligence Police is a more fitting term. No, not quite. I guess i'll work on that.

Let's Be Real # 2

Let's be real; If you have a ton of Facebook friends but there are some you're not tight enough with to acknowledge their birthday, even when the little gift looking notification on the side of the screen reminds you of the occasion, you should probably just delete them.

Let's Be Real #1

If you're only giving up something for Lent because it's a habit, your friends are doing it or because your mom expects you to, let's be real; you're doing it for the wrong reasons.

What's up with kids these days?

Anyone remember the days when suburban neighborhood streets would have packs of children playing outdoor from about 3pm until that magical time that the street lights came on? Maybe i'm dating myself (Hmmm, dating myself? Sounds kinda nice! I digress...) but when I was a kid, which really wasn't THAT long ago, that was just a normal occurrence. In my neighborhood, kids had bikes, scooters, skateboards and lots of other things that only made sense to play with outdoors. Funny thing is that we also had video games, books, Barbies & G.I. Joes, Power Ranger action figures, Play Doh and plenty of other things that we could have enjoyed indoors. Even with all those super cool things, we still chose to be outside with our friends doing physical stuff like climbing trees, jumping rope, having skateboard races and even getting into the occasional disagreement which may or may not have escalated into a fight. We had tons of fun and turned out fine. Well, most of us did. I don't know about you, but i'm pretty awesome.

Nowadays, the only time I see kids outside (aside from the foreign family down the block) is when they are going to or from their mommy's oversized SUV to be carted to school 3 blocks away. (What happened to walking to the bus stop? Hello exercise!) It's cool that parents want to make life easier for their kids and all but it kinda seems like things are too easy and kids are being done a disservice. I know the world has changed and no, i'm not a parent but these are some of the things I think are necessary to develop well rounded people:

-Interaction with peers without adult interference
Notice it says interference, not supervision. You still gotta watch your kids folks! My point is that sometimes kids need to figure out their own issues. When I was younger and two people wanted to be the same color Power Ranger, we argued "Nuh-uh, you were blue last time! It's my turn!" or we used our own little baby brains to decide using either Paper-Rock-Scissors or some form of Eenie Meanie/Bubble Gum. Sometimes a little conflict is good! Let the kids develop their own problem solving skills or they will forever be socially deficient. Just check on them occasionally to make sure that everyone is accounted for.

-Electronics need a cut off time
Playing video games, computer games or watching television should not be the only entertainment a child has. For the most part, I think they make people dumb; both adults and kids. I get that everyone is busy but don't use the idiot box as a babysitter and wonder why your kid brings down the average score for standardized testing. Just because your kid might watch some specific kid show doesn't always mean that they are learning, it just means the plot (or lack thereof) is simple enough for a 12 month old to follow. I'm not saying these are completely terrible things because love my Wii and I keep up with The Kardashians. What I am saying is that spending too much time on these take away from the time that could be spent talking or playing with anyone other oneself.

-Work for what you want
When I was little, I didn't get a weekly allowance. If I wanted something extra, I had to do something extra. Just like adults wanting a raise at work, you're gonna have to take on more responsibilities or at least prove why you deserve more. Giving kids everything they want under the guise of wanting them to have what you didn't have is perpetuating the cycle of entitled human beings. Don't contribute to the the madness, just don't do it!

-Be an adult, not a kid's best friend
It's nice to be a good person that kids feel comfortable talking to, it's not so nice when those little boogers forget that they are the child that runs nothing. Like I said, i'm not a parent but I do know how to draw the line with kids. I spend plenty of time with my cousin's kids who think of me as the fun cousin. I put them on my shoulders, draw on the sidewalk with chalk with them, read to and with them, make cookies with them and tons of other fun things. I'm also the disciplinarian cousin with the pimp hand. I also fuss at them for standing on the couch with shoes on, throwing toys or tantrums, jumping off the stairs and lots of other things that children under the age of eight like to get into. They tell me jokes when they're happy, they come to me for a hug when they're sad. The best part is that they know that I know when they have done something wrong and that some form of punishment is coming. Even after that, they still hug me and kiss me and tell me they love me before we part ways because everyone knows that it comes from a place of love.

These are just a few things that get to me about today's kids and i'm sure i'll think of more just as soon as I post this. Honestly, if people thought more about the effect their actions have on the tiny humans of the world and what that means for our future, I think we'd be okay. So, think about the future rather than just saying that you think about the future.

Why I wouldn't want to be on The Bachelor

Although I more often than not talk about how reality shows are rapidly contributing to the death of television as we know it, I can't resist watching The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. My grandma even suggested that I go on the show as the bachelorette and even offered to help me choose between the men would obviously be falling madly in love with me. (She's an interesting lady.) After watching this season slowly unfold, I realized specific reasons why I wouldn't want to be on either show. Because i'm a generous individual, i'm sharing those reasons with you. Yes, you!

1. I don't share
In normal, everyday life, when a guy has more than one girlfriend, he's considered a cheater. On ABC, he's considered marriage material. I get that it's a show but I can't imagine giving so much of myself to someone who is giving a piece of himself to 24 other women. Bump that noise.

2. I wouldn't want to live with so many girls.
I had a roommate my first semester at a university and that was enough for me. I don't hate girls, I just don't appreciate their cattiness and I definitely don't want it in my living space. Aside from the cleaning issues, i'd probably enjoy living with boys soooooooo much more.

3. I don't mind fighting for what I want but I don't want to compete.
In a situation like this, I'd be the only one in the relationship fighting for the "us" to work. That just doesn't fly with me.

4. I want to be chosen as well as being able to choose.
Sometimes I wonder if the people on these shows really are interested in the person whose love and affection they are trying to win or if they are simply driven because there is no other choice and the competitive nature in folks just takes over. It's not fair for one side to have a ton of options and the other to have the options of
A)take it or B) leave it. 

5. I think it's important to fall for someone and start a relationship in a realistic setting. Read: crappy, stressful, frustrating real life
Once ABC stops funding the exotic trips and fantasy suites, things are gonna change super quick leaving everyone disappointed. Awwww, sad day.

6. After being on one of these shows, it's nearly impossible to blend back in to real life.
ABC has kinda gone the way of MTV by recycling its "stars" and using them on another show. You know how Coral from The Real World was on MTV for like 87 years after her season doing all those different versions of Real World/Road Rule Challenge. Same thing with ABC now. If you're the last one to get the boot, you're pretty much the next headliner. From there, you can go on to the game show Bachelor Pad and show the world just how strategic and conniving you are. Which leads me to my next point...

7. It will be extremely hard to get a job and/or a date once you're off the show.
Everyone has seen the ups, the downs, the breakdowns, the insecurities, the fights, the fact that you don't wear waterproof eye makeup, and the fact that you can get snippy toward your boyfriend's other girlfriends. Who wants to date or work with a hot mess like that? Not me. I probably wouldn't hire you nor is there a chance that we'd be very good friends either. Just sayin.

8. I want to be with someone because I like him, not because I want to win a reality show.

Kinda goes along with #3 and #4 but oh well. 

9. I don't want to catch a disease.

Let's be real here. One person making out and other stuff (I know you didn't think they were having a tickle fight in the fantasy suite when they kicked the cameras out) with a group of other people. If one has it, everyone has it. No thanks, I don't want it.

That's all I can think of for now. But seriously, isn't that enough?

Beginning of a Blogging Era!

Hello blogging world!
I'm super new to the world of blogging. Well, maybe just out of practice. In my super cool, fresh out of high school days, I had a pretty legit existence on Xanga and LiveJournal. Remember those? Yeah, me neither. Anyway, I have plenty of random ramblings that occur in my head on a regular basis but I choose not to post them on Facebook. I'm sure you're wondering "Why not? Everyone puts everything on Facebook!" Exactly. I can't make it easy and put all of my business in one place, you creepers are gonna have to work for it! I've got some rants in the queue (and by queue, I mean the Notes sections of my iPod Touch and my Droid 2) and i'll get around to posting them sometime soon. Until then, feel free to continuously read this post until you have it memorized like a bad Britney Spears song. :)