I read a lot and talk to lots of different people. For some reason, the subject of relationships comes up a lot. Some of my female friends have their thoughts and believe everything that Cosmo tells them. Considering that you're trying to date a guy, that's a HUGE no-no since just about everything in that magazine aside from the "Ask Jake" column is written by females (read: not guys). Women don't even know what we want, much less what someone else wants! Based on my reading of many articles directed towards men and my loads of conversations with guys, I started thinking about some of those stupid checklists with a somewhat realistic view. Below are the reasons why I (not Cosmo or any other girly magazine) believe I would be a legit girlfriend.
1. I understand that guys are visual creatures.
I don't get offended when guys check me out or stand close enough to attempt to look down my shirt. In fact, i'm flattered by it. I check out guys doing squats at the gym so its kinda fair. Guys seem to like girls in many different states from just waking up (minus the morning breath) to dressed up for a night out (as long we're still recognizable under the hair, makeup & push up bra). If I know that a guy i'm interested in likes when I wear something in particular like wearing a dress instead of jeans or wearing my hair down instead of in a ponytail, I pay attention to that and dress accordingly. Not that i'm a Barbie doll that wears whatever he wants to see whenever he wants to see it but I don't mind being considerate.
2. I love trying out new recipes and even creating new ones.
Remember that saying "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach"? I think someone was onto something magical when that gem tumbled across the lips of some genius. I like to eat so I don't mind cooking. On top of that, I don't count calories or track grams of sugar or trans fats or any other flavor of the month from dieters of the world. (Ok, I kinda pay attention to Sodium and Caffeine but i'm not obnoxiously strict about it.) With that said, we can eat whatever without guilt. However it goes down, nobody is gonna be hungry.
3. I don't know a logical reason for asking "What are you thinking?"
Sometimes people do dumb stuff and I wonder "What the hell was he thinking?" but i'm not one to break away from a really good kiss and ask about what is on my makeout partner's mind. People are allowed to have private thoughts, I don't always want someone knowing anything and everything i'm thinking. If you want me to know, you'll tell me. If not, i'll survive.
4. With that said, i'm always willing to listen.
I understand that when guys hear a rant, they go into problem solving mode. Sometimes, folks just want to get things off their chest. Some folks want to be commiserated with or offered advice. Before jumping off the deep end, I tend to ask "Are you just venting or would you like feedback?" That way, if you don't want to hear what I have to say, I can save my breath and you don't have to worry about a polite way to say "Shut up woman, no one cares." Everybody wins!
5. I don't think couples need to spend every waking hour together.
You had a life, interests, friends, hobbies, habits, activities, rituals, etc. before you met me? Funny, I can say the same. When I say that i'm totally cool with you hanging out with the guys, I absolutely mean it. (Yes, even if you guys are going to a strip club for a bachelor party. Just don't touch.) We are each our own person and should do what it takes to maintain our personal identities. If we're never apart, we'll run out of stuff to talk about and/or become one of those couples that shares a Facebook account. (Those bother me so so much!) Besides, I want to go out with my friends too.
6. Whatever you tell me goes no further.
If you tell me about your hopes, dreams, goals, insecurities, fears, childhood traumas or any personal make or break moments in your life, know that i'm not going to tell anyone. Some people think its okay to tell their best friend, mom, therapist, etc. but i'm not one of those people. For some things, I don't even have to hear "Don't tell anyone" or "Keep this to yourself". I can tell by the tone of your voice, the speed of your speech, and the look in your eyes. If you trust me enough to share those things with me, I will continuously do my best to maintain that trust and keep your secrets, even if things turn sour. When it comes to loyalty and trust, I don't play.
7. I can admit when you are right and I am wrong.
Its not a contest and i'm not keeping score. If you're correct, I can respect your intelligence. If you're wrong, i'll only gloat a little bit.
8. I like to help and take care of people.
Don't get me wrong, I could get a puppy or have a baby if I wanted to take care of a helpless creature. I'm definitely not down for that just yet. There is a difference between doing something for someone because I have to and doing something for someone because I want to. If I want to cook dinner for you or give you a massage simply because I want to show appreciation and/or affection, don't look for the ulterior motive. Sometimes, I just want to be nice.
9. I like sports too.
I may not know the difference between a Blitz and a Red Tail (or was it Red Fin? Don't know, don't care.) but I know enough about some sports to watch a game and understand what's happening in front of me. My favorite sport to watch (and play, when permitted) is Football. I like to watch and focus on my games. I may text you back, especially if you're bringing game necessities like pizza, hot wings or frosty beverages. If you call me and I sound distracted or worse, call you "dude", you should know that i'm in the zone. I'll be back to normal when that oh so important F is behind the score. Because I get this way, I understand why guys get so wrapped up in their sports and would extend the same courtesy and respect as i'd expect to receive. For me, this also goes for Grey's Anatomy.
10. I don't want to change anyone.
It's hard enough to change myself, so why would I even consider trying to change anyone else? If i'm with you, its because I like who you are. Besides, its rude and unfair to you. If our interactions change your opinion of certain things, that's just a perception change. If I don't like your personality or habits or whatever, I should probably just find a new person to date.
I'm sure there may be other reasons why I may be a legit girlfriend but this is all I can come up for now. Maybe i'll find out or realize more reasons someday but for now, i'm content with the fact that someone out there can and does appreciate me and my somewhat logical anti-girlness.
